Dysphoria* is something that can get
to a lot of us. Sometimes, talking to a
friend or family member or a therapist can be really helpful, and provide us
with specific ways to help us move through these periods successfully. But, if you don’t have access to a
knowledgeable therapist or the tips friends have given you just aren’t working,
it can be pretty tough to work out what to do.
Here are some ideas that I or friends of mine have used that have helped
1. Listen to Music - create a playlist that you know will help
you feel better. Whether it’s music that distracts you, empowers you, or that
you can sympathize with it, just stop and listen for a while.
2. Watch Something - funny, distracting, a mystery; whatever
will hold your focus and take you away for long enough for you to try and gain
your footing again
3. Eat Something - make yourself a treat. Or buy something
delicious. No matter how odd or sugary or anything, so long as it doesn’t pose
you immediate danger, savor it.
4. Take it Out - take a pillow, leash, belt or something
similar in both hands and attack something sturdy. It could be your bed or a
table or a tree, but yell whatever you’re feeling and beat the daylights out of
that inanimate object until you’re too tired to continue.
5. Activate! - do research, write a post, make a video; do
something to contribute to getting to where you want to be and/or helping the
community.
6. Art - create something unique and powerful. It
could relate to your dysphoria or not – just design something and focus on
creating it until it’s done. The good
thing about art is that you can never run out of ideas, and it never has to get
old.
7. Read - whether queer graphic novels, classic
literature, or trans* fanfiction is your pleasure, find something and start
reading, and don’t worry about how long you stay absorbed in it
8. Write a Letter - or a journal entry about how you feel.
Perhaps write it to your future self, or to that person or part of society that
manages to trigger you every time. Keep it, burn it, or stick it on your wall.
9. Write on Your Body - whether you want to draw a moustache on
your face in eyeliner or put on full makeup, or write quotes, lyrics, symbols,
images, or phrases on your body, do so. You can take the makeup off whenever
you want, and you can write on a part of your body no one else will be seeing.
Or you can leave it on/write on your face or arms or hands for the world to
see. If possible, it might help to write
on a particular body part that is making you feel dysphoric. Then, when you
look at it, you can remember that you’re in control of your body, and see
whatever reminder you left for yourself.
10. Change it Up
- get a piercing, cut and/or die your hair, choose to shave
as little or as much as you’d like, get a tattoo, wear something new and
different, put on dramatic makeup. Do something to your body that you can
control, that does show who you are (or who you want to be or someone else
entirely) on the outside.
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed
health professional. If possible,
seeking assistance from one, especially if you have a persistent problem, is
the best course of action.
Not all of these will work for everyone! Some will
work wonders, some will work a little, some will do nothing, and some may
actually make it worse. As always when coping with this sort of thing, know
your triggers, and make choices based around those. Other than that, do
whatever it takes to keep you relatively safe and make you feel better.
note: If you have other
ideas/suggestions, feel free to send them to me at gendercast@gmail.com! (I'm trying to keep a running personal list, and one on a permalink on Tumblr that people can easily access.)
* Dysphoria isn’t really adequate to
describe all the different emotions and mental states related to trans*
experiences that can keep you from being your best, most energetic self. Since
it’s the most commonly recognized term I’ve seen, I use it here as a catchall
to describe a variety of things trans*people can experience.
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